My Story

Introduction

Have you ever felt like something’s missing—but you can’t quite put your finger on what? Like life has become a constant stream of obligations, and the carefree version of yourself feels like a distant memory? That the path you’re on isn’t right for you, but you’re not sure how to change direction.

I know that feeling well because I used to be in that exact place.

The truth is, there’s no single thing that got you where you are now. And there’s no single magic bullet that can get you back on track either. But here’s what I’ve learned: You can change direction. In the long run, that small change will make a big difference. It may not seem like much at first, but over time, it can lead you somewhere completely different. It just takes patience, one step at a time.

Early childhood

When I was about 11 years old, I can remember that I ‘borrowed’ my fathers 8mm film camera. I tried to make a sort of special effects ‘movie’. The idea was that a friend of mine would act as if he was a magician casting a spell. He was waving his hands at a vase in a mysterious way. I would stop filming and my friend would stay completely still. Like a frozen statue. Then I would remove the object and started filming again upon which my friend started waving his arms again. When you looked at the complete scene it would appear as a continuous shot where the vase vanished into thin air.

It was magical….. Well at least to me. When my father found out I had ruined his precious film he was not too happy, to put it mildly. But I really was!

Losing direction

Fast forward a few years into the future…..I was studying physics at that time. God knows why? I’m still figuring that one out, I actually had nothing to do with physics, except that I watched a lot of science fiction movies. But my uncle was a physics professor. A highly respected man. So that had probably something to to with that and my parents were very proud ofcourse! To be honest, I wasn’t too happy back then. It took me a year to find out that physics wasn’t just for me. It wasn’t like a movie at all.

After quitting physics, I really didn’t have a clue what I should be doing next? I knew that I dissapointed my parents. That I did not live up their expectations and threw a opportunity away that not many people have. I had a feeling that I had to make up for that.

I took a psychological test that evaluates who you are and what you would like to do as a profession. It turned out that I should be a photographer or a painter. I couldn’t believe it! That was something I never rationally considered. Sure I fooled around with a camera as a kid, but that was just playing. I thought it was ridiculous. Not only me, but my father expected me to study something ‘significant’. Art wasn’t significant in his opinion. An artist has no money, has no future. His idea was that I should succeed in life. Be a businessman or somebody important. It was okay to do art as a hobby. But I should get a serious job. A responsible job. Fun was something for on the side.

So I ignored the results from the psychology test. I ignored my intuition. And most crucial of all I ignored having fun and went on to study…… psychology.

At this point you might ask, why psychology? I’m not sure if I have an answer. Perhaps on a subconscious level I was seeking for a meaning in life. An existentialist undercurrent perhaps.

Once in a while my creative side took over. So I took another sharp turn and studied electric guitar and played in severel bands for years. I think I was at my happiest during that time. No money but a lot of fun! Eventually I had to finish school so I could get an actual job that paid the rent. So I did and went on to work as an……..ITC consultant.